Sword Art Online II – 8


We get it, Kirito Sue the Magnificent: you’re scared. You’re traumatized. You’re so traumatized you’re wielding a giant hammer with “DEEP-SEATED EMOTIONAL ISSUES” scrawled on its hilt and beating all the viewers’ faces with it. So much so it’s kind of lost all of its weight. We don’t care. Why are you so afraid of Death Gun? I would like to remind you that you have conquered two MMOs, one in which you were under worse threat of death, through the sheer power of will.. You have literally willed yourself to ignore the game’s code and do whatever the fuck you want. This has been established and recognized by the games’ creator. You are actually God in this virtual universe for all intents and purposes, but you’re afraid of some guy in a mask. Instead of feeling Kirito’s anxiety, I was just amused and perplexed at how overdramatic he was being for no reason.

Behold! A textbook example on why everyone hates Mary Sues and why they never work. If there is no threat to the character, there is no tension for the viewer to experience, and thus there is no reason for them to become invested in what they are perceiving. These are some of the most foundational pillars of Human Storytelling. We are emotional creatures; stories are ways for us to share those emotions with one another. Nobody wants to see fucking Frodo waltz his way into Mordor on the Eagles’ backs; they want to see him carry it into Mordor, risking life and limb with no thought of himself, while his friends defend the free world at great risk to themselves. Kirito never experiences any real obstacles, only “challenges” we are commanded to take seriously by various elements of the show. Sword Art Online is high-school-level storytelling at best, but it’s gotten so popular because otaku and Japanophiles eat this shit up. We’re only five episodes removed from Episodes 2 and 3, and already everything is just boring. Here’s an idea: get rid of Kirito and go back to Episode 2 where Sinon was engaging in sniper duels with opponents that challenged her. That’s the part of this episode I enjoyed: watching Sinon do her thing like a real, legitimate character. Whenever Kirito shows up my eyes just gloss over because I already know what’s going to happen.

Surprise me, Sword Art Online II. You did it in Episodes 2 and 3. I’m sure you can do it again somehow.

New Computer

Typing this on my new computer. All the components (so far) seem to be working properly. Hopefully I won’t get stupid video card errors again. I should be able to stream/record stuff on Saturday like I planned.

So, yay.

Back to Plat II

Back117 to Plat II after an immensely close game as Lulu support. Our nexus had no turrets and less than a hundred health left, but we somehow managed to keep it alive. Then the opposing team got really sloppy, allowing us to pick them off and wait for our inhibitors to respawn. Some more sloppy play from the opposing team that we capitalized on, coupled with Tristana’s incredible scaling, gave us the victory. Whew.

Moreover, there are Lucian nerfs on the PBE. Life is very good today.

I (Don’t) Suck at Vayne – 1

67Verdict: don’t.
Sentence: defeat.
Reason: bad late-game engage + Kayle ult is still stupid.

Went up Vayne/Morgana against Draven/Nami. Destroyed them all game, even though Draven got a kill or two in the laning phase.  Although we didn’t win due to typical late-game shenanigans and Kayle ult saving Draven at 10% health, my play and mechanics were on point throughout the whole match, something I usually am never confident about. Vayne is my favorite champion in LoL by far, but her underpowered state in the meta (nerf Lucian already) combined with the unforgiving mechanical demands of her kit are a consistent source of frustration for me. I’ve lost countless games to misclicks and small things that matter very much when it comes to her. It was satisfying to see me manage to fight and beat Draven at his own game, thanks to a very good Morgana support who knew what she was doing.

Despite the loss, I really call this one a win for me personally.

I (Don’t) Suck at Orianna – 2

Ve61rdict: don’t.
Sentence: victory.
Reason: 10/1/9. Good play all around from my
self and the team.

Went up against Twisted Fate in the midlane, like normal, and crushed him. TF is one of more favored matchups, as his laning phase is incredibly mediocre and all his damage output is easily avoided. The TF lost out about 40-50 CS when all was said and done and was never able to use his ult’s utility to score any clutch kills or team fights. Top fared okay against Ryze, but once again bot got fed and we scored a victory pretty handily.

Orianna is really, really, really fun.